A winery in Kent has been forbidden to sell its Malbec because of an EU ruling which states that any wine not produced in the region in which it is grown must be called a "fruit derived alcoholic beverage". Therefore, all bottles of Chapel Down Malbec are no longer available for sale. The winery has 1,100 bottles of wine it must now simply give away because of some inane ruling by the Brusselistas. The bottles retailed at £15. "The wine is sensational," remarked Frazer Thompson, CEO of the company."But we now have 1,100 bottles which are illegal to sell or label as a wine or Malbec." The Malbec grapes had been flown from Argentina to Kent where they were aged in American oak barrels for nine months.
The EFD (Europe Freedom Democracy) group which counts UKIP as a majority member decided to hold a "Non-Tasting Wine Event" on Europe Day which was May 9th to protest the silly ruling. "Europe Day" is some contrived holiday to celebrate the European Union...this Union that has brought us more nightmares than Jung would ever have time to analyze in thirty lifetimes. And it is also an excuse to leave chambers early of course... as is "European Stomp Spanikopita Day", "European Mountain Yodeling Day" and "European Clog Tossing Day" and just about any other holiday that might allow ministers to take a few days off for R&R on monies provided by government coffers from strangled nations that are collapsing as we speak. (Can you hear the plates smashing in Greece? It's not from dancing, I promise you.)
Ironically, the formidable wine was not even called a "Malbec" or "wine" though it was introduced to the UK on "World Malbec Day" in April. It was called simply "An English Salute." I think we should all give the EUP an "English Salute". (You may choose an appropriate and dignified digit of your choice, of course.)
Now, please, won't you pass the "fruit derived alchoholic beverage"? Let's toast to sheer stupidity.